There’s so much to the lifestyle; where do you even start? I’m happy to give you our story on joining in and what we think it takes to really be ready to explore swinging and other aspects of the FKK lifestyle.
First of all, you really should completely drop the notion that swinging means walking into an orgy and everyone expecting you and your partner to share your bodies with everyone else. That couldn’t be any further from the truth. While there are plenty of fully nude parties, you will never (EVER) be expected to put out for strangers. That isn’t appropriate or fair to those experienced in playing to assume so. Swinging by definition does mean sharing partners and engaging in raucous activity, but that doesn’t mean anything goes. Your body never belongs to someone else.. unless you want it to.
Our Experience
Our first experiences were with each other. It’s something that always intrigued us individually before we met. When we began dating, we already had it in mind that we wanted to explore more sexually while being with our future partners. The discussion happened early in our relationship. That’s definitely not a conversation many couples will have so early. It was just right for us. V has always been as interested in women as men and I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life being with just one person. I believe in love and was lucky to have found it, but I recognize that personally, love and sex can be compartmentalized and fun can be had safely and respectfully while I’m with someone.
For others, the taboo of sharing your partner is much harder to approach. Rarely is someone born with the ability to accept seeing your partner with others. That’s why you should only talk to your partner when the time is right and you are prepared to discuss in full where you stand on most subjects. If you truly feel prepared to talk, make sure you listen to your partner as much as possible.
Communication
Communication is of the most important word we can recommend to anyone. Expressing your feeling and being open and honest with the person you love goes a long way. If they truly love you, they will at least listen and respect your ability to communicate. Even if they aren’t interested, you have revealed a new part about yourself and the seed is planted.
This may go without saying, but every relationship is different. Something that works for some or even most may not apply to you and your partner. Start as slow as your partner wishes and only move as fast as you’re both comfortable with. Even V and I are still working on adapting. We continue to evolve with each experience. ‘Leveling Up’ if you will. We didn’t jump right in to wild sex parties. In fact, we’ve actually moved relatively slow compared to others. We’ve been comfortable with her being with other women since the beginning. Threesomes with women has always been on the table.
So where did we go from there? She made all the decisions for herself as everyone should. We discussed her being with other men. She wasn’t ready for that and I only wanted her to feel comfortable. I opened up about how if I were to be with another woman without her, I’d prefer it to be in separate rooms. That wasn’t in our comfort zone so we tabled it. We wouldn’t have been discussing these situations if they weren’t something we saw at the parties we started to attend. Easing into the lifestyle allowed us to lay down new ground rules and boundaries.
Find a Club
So you’ve had your talk and decided to dip your toes in. We recommend finding a lifestyle club that’s open to the public with as much information online as possible. Is it clothing optional or fully nude? How close are you to home? Will you be staying nearby? What are their policies? Do as much research together as possible. Keep each other informed and up-to-speed on any information you gather. Surprises can be fun sometimes, but this major step isn’t the right time for surprises.
I’d love to do a follow up sometime on this article and discuss how our first experiences went and when we decided to take steps forward in our swinging lifestyle. What are some questions you may have for us? Was there anything mentioned here that intrigues you? Add us on social media and drop us a line. We are open books and happy to talk about it!
